Weigh Day (week fifty-seven)

This week has been a strange one.  In some ways I am feeling stressed beyond belief, and in others I am finally feeling relaxed.  Odd, right?

The strep is clearing up nicely…after I took a couple days off the gym (and, of course, the antibiotics are helping).  Thursday my bestie (Leslie) stole me away for an overnight trip in a fancy hotel.  That gave me some much needed refreshing relaxation…which I desperately needed.

The biggest stressor for the week is something I have had serious internal struggles over.  I have even contemplated whether or not I should blog about it.  In the interest of not censoring, and of helping others overcome obstacles related to weight loss/health, I have decided I will blog about it:

I have been a member of Fitworks since last August.  I also began training at that time.  My original trainer was Don…then Vanessa…and then Ebony.  All of them seemed nice enough.  When Ebony left I went to Dorsey (manager) and requested someone he thought would be around for a while so I could actually build a relationship with someone.  That is when he gave me Denise.  I loved her from the moment we met.  She was energetic, sincere, and ambitious.  She was excited to help me reach my weight loss goals, which made me even more excited.  Over the last 10 months Denise has gone above and beyond for me (many times over again).  I owe a great deal of my success to her efforts and passion.  Aside from that, though, I have also come to love her as a person…outside of my professional relationship with her.  She really is amazing in many ways.

This is when things get tough.  Obviously my weight is not coming off like it did this time last year.  Every pound is so hard to lose anymore…and the weight is just creeping.  Although I knew logically this was going to happen, I find I am growing frustrated.  So, Dorsey and I were talking about it and he suggested considering training more than once per week…and maybe even seeing what I could learn from another trainer.  The problem is not that the other trainers are not good, or that I do not trust them.  The problem is that Denise is my trainer.  Period.  I felt like even considering another trainer was some sort of ultimate betrayal.  Dorsey assured me, though, that it is “no big deal.”  Despite my initial apprehension, I agreed to start working with Aaron as well.

Aaron is a trainer I have worked with before (and I know I have mentioned him here previously).  So, I already knew he was super brilliant and a fabulous trainer.  He was excited to work with me one-on-one, though…and brought a whole crap-load of information to the table.  He suggested the IF (mentioned previously) and a few other things to get things moving.  He put together a pretty intense schedule for me (which I wish I could have started without being sick), too.  Despite only working out four days this week (two lifting, two cardio), I lost 1.6 pounds since last weigh in.  Excellent!

195.2

I must admit I am excited to learn new things from Aaron, but I still feel pretty crappy about the arrangement.  I certainly intend to keep training with Denise as well, but I have to figure that one out as she switched and reduced her training days at Fitworks this week.

As a side update…the studying continues for my personal training certification.  I have read through 13 chapters (out of 30) so far.  I am taking my time, though, really absorbing and learning the information.  I hope to have everything finished by the end of September, but we shall see.  If it takes me longer to *truly* know the information, it takes me longer.  The whole program is quite expensive, so I really do not want to have to pay for a re-test because I rushed.

Another side update…Grumpy’s Coffee Mug Challenge is chugging along…and I am not doing well – still.  Some of those people have dropped an insane amount of weight already.  Good for them.  Bad for me.  Oh well, though, we have until October…and even if I do not win, I will still be losing.  Every pound off is a small victory right here at the home front, right?

How was your week?  Anything stressful or amazing going on?

-Erica

An Update On This Knee

This knee…is a serious pain in my…knee.  My first physical therapy appointment was yesterday afternoon.  I honestly expected to get a “that’s not that bad” or a “that’ll be easily fixed.”  Let me tell you, that is *not* what was said – ever.

It turns out that my knee is worse than I imagined.  When she marked the edge of my knee cap and then asked me to flex my quad (still lying flat and not bending my leg at all) the shock on her face said it all.  She then marked the edge of knee cap with my quad flexed.  The result?  My knee cap deviates to the left *more* than half an inch when I flex my quad.  I do not even have to bend the stupid leg to dislocate the knee cap – just flex.  My outer quad is *that* much strong than my inner quad.  Go figure.

The other bit of bad news is that my right knee does the same thing…I’m just not symptomatic on that side – yet.  So, all the exercises/stretches I will be doing for my left knee, I will be repeating for my right knee.  Hopefully this will prevent me from doing as much damage to my right knee as I have my left (and, of course, hopefully that prevents the right knee from ever hurting this way).

When the physical therapist checked the strength on all four sections of my quad, it was surprising.  My leg is very strong in three directions, and weak like a child in one (which, of course, is the inner quad).  This imbalance is what is causing my malfunction.  Additionally, my quad muscles and hip flexors are extremely tight, which compounds the problem.  I stretch every day (usually multiple times even), but evidently I am not stretching efficiently enough to properly lengthen/loosen my muscles.  So, they showed me ways to properly stretch…and, who knew a stretch could hurt so bad?!  When she started to stretch the front of my thigh, I almost shot off the table and said an abundance of sailor words!  Sheesh.

In light of this information, I am seriously debating whether continuing with Zumba is a good idea.  I love it, and I seriously want to go back.  However, all that bouncing around and squatting/lunging is strictly forbidden for the sake of not grinding any more of my joint away.  Decisions, decisions.

Looks like this will be a challenging road to travel…and this certainly means more alterations to my workout routines.  I *must* be very aware of how I move my legs and when I flex my quad.  Should be interesting.  Thank goodness I have Denise – she always knows what to do!  🙂

-Erica

Another {small} Setback

If it is not one thing it is another, right?  Here is the story:

Two weeks ago I changed personal trainers because Ebony left Fitworks.  Denise and I worked out on October 26th for the first time.  The workout was great (intense, interesting, new, etc.).  It consisted of various exercises I had never done before.  Two of which were full sit-ups and V-crunches.

Full sit-ups: Lying flat on your back, legs apart (more than shoulder width).  Hold a 15-pound medicine ball above your head (arms completely straight).  Sit up completely and bring the ball to your left foot.  Raise the ball back over your head and lie back again.  Sit up completely and bring the ball to your right foot.  Repeat (over and over and over and over again) alternating feet each time you sit up.

V-crunches: Only your tushie butt and hands should be touching the floor.  Your hands are only for stability.  Here’s a picture of what it (kinda) looked like when I did them…only I was *not* on a ball.  You alternate (fairly quickly) straightening and bending your legs while leaning your upper body back when you straighten your legs.  (I certainly hope I am making some sort of sense here – LOL)

V Crunches

Alright, so I did these two core workouts for approximately eight minutes (in 1-minute increments with short breaks in between).  Maybe that does not seem like a lot, but these were seriously intense.  The odd thing was my legs were burning (from the V crunches) but my abs felt fine.

The next day; however, my abs were *killing* me…and I do mean *killing*.  I could not lie flat on my back without pain in my lower abs.  I could not sit up without rolling out to the side and using my arm(s) to push me up because my lower abs felt like they would just give out.  The only thing I can even begin to compare it to was having my two cesarean sections.  It was awful.  What I did not realize at the time was I really hurt myself.

I ignored the pain and continued working out on my regular schedule.  Last night I went to Fitworks (two weeks later, mind you) to meet Denise.  When I tried to do sit-ups guess what?  I could not do them.  Not “I didn’t want to” or “I am afraid.”  I *literally* could. not. do. them.  I could do a regular crunch, but not a full and complete sit-up.  So, Denise starting asking questions because she knew I could do them two weeks ago.  Once I explained what I felt like for a week (actually more) after our original workout this is what she said:

I tore my muscle.

How awful.  Really awful.  I wanted to do those sit-ups and I wanted to workout hardcore.  After all, I want to be to 250 (or less) my Christmas.  I want to be to 225 (or less) by my birthday in February.  I have goals to meet and accomplishments to celebrate.  I do not have time to be injured and “taking it easy” on myself.  Right?

Apparently, she had another plan for me.  We switched from sit-ups and crunches to planks.  She said that I can still work the ab muscles, but in different ways that do not hurt them while they are healing (which evidently can take up to six whole stupid weeks, by the way).  She had to start me on the highest platform/table they have available at Fitworks (which really bummed me out that I was starting at the bottom – boo!) because I tried the lowest and could not do it without pain in my lower abs.  I started raised up on my hands and then lowered to my elbows.  Back up to the hands (straight arms) and back down to the elbows.  We did 45-second intervals with breaks (that seemed unnecessarily long to me) in between.  Here is (kinda) what it looks like, only I was on a platform not directly on the floor:

Planks

I cried at the gym last night.  Not because I was in pain, but because I am mad (really, pissed) at myself for not being able to do the sit-ups and the lower planks.  I feel like I am failing myself…like I am failing in general.  Then, of course, I was mad at myself for crying in public at the gym (tee hee).

This is when I got my first lecture from Denise.  “Erica, you’re working so hard.  You kicked butt tonight.  Yes, you cannot do this…temporarily…but you will do it in the future.  You *have* to allow your body to guide you on this journey.  When your body hurts you have to listen to it and take it easy.  That does not make you a failure.  That does not mean you cannot work out in other ways.  It does mean you should not continue do the moves that hurt you in the first place.”  That is not verbatim, but you get the idea.

The only problem is…I do not do “can’t.”  I do not handle “can’t” well – at all.  It eats at me.  It bothers me.  It keeps me up at night.  It gives me bad dreams.  It haunts me.  “Can’t” is not usually in my vocabulary.  Does that make me obsessive and a little bizarre?  Sure.  But I am okay with that (it is “can’t” I am not okay with).

Have you ever injured yourself working out?  How did you handle it?  Did it bother you not to be able to continue your “regularly scheduled programming?”  How long did it take for you to heal?

-Erica