So, I’ve Been Meaning To…

…catch up with all of you.  Apparently I have been meaning to do that for 75 days at this point.  Seventy-five days.  That is just insane.

My life has been pretty busy.  I feel like it is busier than normal even.  My abridged version:

1. My knees (more so my left) are killing me.  I mean serious pain…constant pain…the kind of pain that makes you walk up the stairs like a two-year-old griping the rail for dear life.

2. My weight continues to hold steady…around 190 to 193 pounds.  I saw one glimpse of 189.8 on the scale…then the very next day I was back to 192.  Infuriating.

3. I am training with Aaron steadily these days.  Things did not “end” well with Denise, unfortunately, and I am missing her like crazy.  I will always be grateful to her for getting my through some of the toughest months in my journey and being ridiculously supportive even when I was whining like a baby.

4. I went back to college.  I had graduated in January with an Associate degree.  Currently I am working toward a Bachelor’s in Health Sciences (Health & Wellness).  This is pretty exciting…and also makes me very busy.  Should I actually be able to make myself blog on any kind of regular basis, I will have all kinds of good/fascinating information to share with you all!

5. I am getting stronger.  A lot stronger.  A military push-up (one in which you keep your elbows tucked neatly next to your torso instead of flaring them out at a 45-degree angle) was something that eluded me…and annoyed me.  However, I am happy to say I can do them!  Not a ton of them, but still I can…and in perfect form!  This was a major victory for me…strange, I know.

6. My right elbow cannot behave for any length of time.  I was diagnosed with tendonitis in it a couple months ago.  I iced it, rested it, and took Ibuprofen.  It felt better, so I did upper body with Aaron and then it was mad at me again.  Then, repeat…and again…and again.  Every time I give it a week or two off, it feels great.  However, as soon as I do any pushing or pulling…WHAM-O! It is killing me all over again.  Also frustrating.

7. Friday marked my third Ortho-Visc injection (second set) in both knees.  Friday and Saturday were *rough* (to say the least), but today they seem to be feeling a little better.  Hopefully this means I will have some time to work on them.

8. I have decided to write a book…after *lots* of urging from friends, family, and acquaintances.  Personally, I think the idea of writing a book all about me is egotistical.  Other people; however, seem to think it would be beneficial and inspirational to those who would want to read a book all about me.  So, as part of my submission, I will be doing a photo shoot on Jan 5 & 6th.  Aaron, Dorsey, Chris, and others from Fitworks will be joining me for the shoot.  Honestly, I doubt I could pull it off without them (as I plan to hide behind them as much as possible – tee hee).

9. I still struggle with body image…and loving myself.  That has not changed much, if at all.  I have a difficult time seeing how far I have come more than how much further I have left to travel.  I think not seeing the scale move for a couple months compounds this issue…at least for me anyway.  I am actively working on this, though.  Some texts I have to read for school may help: Stumbling on Happiness by Daniel Gilbert is one I am reading right now.

10. I still struggle with making good food choices.  Not every single day, but in times of great stress I still find myself considering things I should not.  I will spare you the details, but let me just admit that I had an internal debate with myself for about an hour over Junior Mints (whether or not to buy them).  I will also say that on that day in particular, no Junior Mints came home with me.  On that day.

11. Cardio is hard…with these knees…which has a lot to do with the scale not moving, I am sure.  It should get easier once this Ortho-Visc “kicks in” to help alleviate some of the discomfort in my joints.

12. I need to count calories, but find it too damn annoying…and slightly depressing.  I hate counting calories.  I really do.  Aaron keeps telling me I need to (since I am not losing weight easily anymore), and I know he is right.  However, counting calories either makes me feel super fat or starving.  No happy medium.  Crazy, I know.

Well, I am sure I missed some things, but that is a general update of how things have been going, and what I am up to right now.  It is my honest intention to keep on blogging…regularly…so, hopefully I will be “seeing” you again later this week.

How have you been holding up?
-Erica

I Am Still Alive

This ridiculously sad looking fella could not be more accurate on how I have been feeling over the last month.  Let me first say I cannot believe it has been a month since I have blogged.  How sad is that?!  I am really disappointed that I let it go that long.

The last month has been insanely challenging.  Unfortunately, the road immediately ahead does not seem to be much brighter…

My older daughter (just turned eight on Tuesday) was tentatively diagnosed with absence epilepsy.  We are scheduled to be admitted to Children’s Hospital on the 10th for a 5-day observation (video EEG).  So, we will be released on the 15th (hopefully).  They have decided that they are putting her Depakote regardless of what the testing shows in the hospital.  This medication has serious (as in life-threatening) liver implications, so I am a nervous wreck just about the medication itself.  Challenge #1.

I visited my sports med doctor on the 14th of September…just as a follow up.  However, I mentioned how much my left knee has been hurting again (despite the OrthoVisc injections done in late May)…and that my right knee had started to bother me.  Challenge #2: I was officially diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my right knee, too.  I also learned that my left knee apparently needs to be replaced.  It took me at least a week to even digest that information, honestly.  They are not going to replace it right away (I am 30 years old), so they will be giving me another round of the OrthoVisc (in both knees this time) when I am due in November.  I have no idea how much time I have until they will/must replace this knee, but it makes me extremely anxious.

To add insult to injury…they have placed me back on extreme restriction.  That means no lunging, squatting, jumping, or running.  Even the spin bike kills my left knee right now.  I am barely able to get on the Neil for even 15 minutes.  That, of course, has made cardio nearly impossible. Challenge #3.

To follow all that whining and complaining, though…I have not gained weight.  I also have not lost any.  I still go to the gym four or five days a week.  Some days I do not break a sweat, though.  I am there.  I am working.  But, I feel like I am not really accomplishing anything.  However, I came across a post on Facebook from Shonnie.  It was a picture that said, “the only bad workout is the one that didn’t happen.”  That *really* made me think about how I have not given up.  Despite all the complications and distractions, I have never stopped going to the gym.  That counts for something, right?

Shonnie helped to renew my spirit today, and she did not even mean to.  Go figure.  Inspiration comes from the most random of places…especially when you are not expecting it.

No obstacle is too great when you have the right attitude…and the right people certainly make it easier.  Thanks, Shonnie!

-Erica

Cleanse Days 5 & 6 {check}

Sunday was my fifth day on the cleanse.  The mild headache in the early afternoon was present, and my tummy was certainly more active than normal.

Monday was my sixth day (second to last) on the cleanse.  No headache, but the tummy remained active.  In fact, Sunday and Monday I would say I made more bathroom trips than in a normal day.  Nothing too terrible or unbearable, but certainly more often.

My sleep pattern still seems to be improved.  I woke up again today around 7:30 (without an alarm) and had no trouble getting out of bed.  I can only hope this stays even after I complete the last day of the cleanse (today).

I was not down anymore today…still 192.2.  However, I have not been in the gym since Thursday.  The gym was closed yesterday in observance of Labor Day, so that meant no Monday night Zumba for me.  I will certainly check in tomorrow morning and let you all know how my last day of cleanse went, and if I am down anymore after the final day.

-Erica

Cleanse Days 3 & 4 {check}

Out of the four days I have been doing this cleanse, I would have to say yesterday I struggled the most (so far).  I felt cloudy all day.  Not miserable.  Not sick.  Not weak.  Not tired.  Just cloudy, like I could not quite focus or do anything particularly productive.  I found myself “zoning” out several times throughout the day for no good reason.  I also noted that the mild headache I had early in day one and two lasted much longer on day three.  Even after lunch I still had a headache.  Not terribly bad, but enough that it was noticable.  I did not workout yesterday either.  Partly because of the cloudy “funk,” and partly because my daughters were treated to a special evening following some trauma and drama earlier in the week.

I was not down this morning.  I was not up either.  Today has been fine.  No cloudy funk hanging over my head, and I still feel as though I am sleeping better these days.  I have been up and out of bed every single morning no later than 7:30 AM since beginning the cleanse.  That is pretty unusual for me.

I did not get a headache this morning, though.  This is the first morning I did not experience a mild headache at all since beginning the cleanse.  Maybe that means some of those toxins are gone?

I have felt slightly more bloated throughout today, though.  The tummy is definitely active, but not painful or emergent.  Maybe tomorrow will prove more “exciting” in that way?  We shall see.

Overall (at this point), I would say this has been far less “intense” than I originally expected.  That, of course, is just fine by me…and I still have three more days to go anyway.

-Erica

Cleanse Day 2 {check}

Well, day two went off without a hitch!  The mild headache went away by lunchtime, and I felt great throughout the rest of the day.

I worked with Aaron last night, and then I did an hour of Zumba.  My energy level was fine even through 90+ minutes of pretty intense exercise.  I did sweat like *crazy* again, so I really do believe that is the cleanse/detox at work.  This time, though, I made sure to carry a paper towel with me so I could clean myself off as I sweat (instead of letting it stain my neck).

A lot of people who do cleanses often complain about the nausea and numerous trips to the bathroom.  I have not experienced either of those things just yet.  My cousin, Maggie, thinks it may be because my body probably has fewer toxins than those who suffer horribly from those things during a detox.  Maybe she is right, or maybe it is just the luck of the draw?

Today (day three) is going well so far.  I am already sweating a little (not a lot, just enough to make me barely start to glisten) and it is not really that hot today.  So, maybe today is the day things will start to get a little more intense for me.  We shall see.

I was down again this morning, though!

192.2

That is *so* exciting, I must admit.  My original goal (set months and months ago) is to hit 185, and now I am getting so close to that!  My hope is to hit 185 by my daughter’s birthday party (on October 6th), so we will see how that goes.

-Erica

Cleanse Day 1 {Check}

Day one of my 7-day cleanse is complete.  I learned last night hotter water makes the Acacia fiber *much* more tolerable.  I mean *hot* water, like you would use for tea.

I did Zumba last night for one hour.  Maybe it was just me, but I feel like I sweat *much* more than normal.  I mean *a lot* more than normal.  I sweat so much, in fact, that my entire neck was dyed yellow (my hair is yellow right now), which never happens.  Luckily it just wiped off…for the most part.  I did feel great, though.  Even after I was finished with Zumba I still felt as though I had a great deal of energy.

This morning I woke up without an alarm at 7:30.  That *never* happens.  I feel like I slept better than normal.  There might be a chance this is just psychosomatic, but I do feel quite great.  I have done the first part of my cleanse for today, which has made me develop a slight headache again (same as yesterday).  Although it is nothing intolerable by any means.

The scale showed no movement today…in either direction.  So, I am neither happy or sad about that.  No change is just that…no change.  We shall see for tomorrow.

-Erica

I Should Be Fired…

…of course no one “hired” me to do this, though.  I have been horrible lately.  I seem to have a lot of personal drama getting in the way of things, my blogging especially.  Here is an update, though:

My weight has been remaining pretty steady over the last couple weeks.  Up a pound one day and down 1.2 the next.  Then back up 1.4 the next and down 1.2 after that.  Frustrating.  This morning I finally have seen a lower number!

194.0

This is the lowest number I have seen on the scale, so thank everything holy for that one!  I needed some happy news in my life, really.  I also began a 7-day cleanse today.  I bought the Renew Life Total Body Rapid Cleanse.  The first thing I have to say is the Acacia Fiber tastes *horrible* – and that is no exaggeration!  I had a *very* hard time getting that down (and keeping it there), and I am really not looking forward to doing it again this evening.

I have never done any kind of cleanse before, so I am anxious to see how things go for me.  I have already developed a very mild headache and my tummy is definitely feeling a little more active.  My goal is to share with you guys how I am doing day-by-day with the cleanse (especially for those of you who have never tried one either).  The product claims say that you could lose between 5 and 20 pounds if you do the cleanse the right way (IE follow all directions, drink plenty of water, exercise, and eat well).  I would certainly be happy with even just a few pounds, though.  So, we shall see.

I will get back into the swing of things starting this Sunday, too.  So, a weigh day will be coming.

How have you all been holding up while I have been MIA?

-Erica

It’s A Process…Here’s Some Progress

Facial comparison – May 2011 to August 2012

So, I have been taking pictures today.  I try to take progress pictures at least every other month (probably should have done monthly, but oh well).  Of course, I am late (nearly a month late at this point).  At least I am getting to them now, though.

I still hate taking pictures of myself.  I still think I look strange in photographs…and that I probably just should not be in them.  This is something I really have to work on.  Not that I want to be one of those folks who takes pictures of themselves every day, but I would love to be alright with my picture being taken.  Maybe someday, right?

I busted out the pants today…

Side Comparison – November 2011 to August 2012

I can definitely see some changes taking place even between May and August.  That makes me feel good since the numbers are not always working in my favor…at least this proves other things are still happening (such as building muscle which is replacing some of that fat).  This helps me feel better about losing only 14 pounds in those nearly three months.  Ick.

Here is something interesting…

I am almost half the gal I used to be…so close.

Once I dipped below the 200-pound-mark, I knew I was officially thinner than I had ever been as an adult.  However, rummaging through my basement proved something else to me:

My senior pictures – age 17

I am actually thinner than I was in high school!  Those are two of my senior picture proofs…look how puffy my poor face is!  I honestly cannot believe it.  I did not realize I was already *that* big in high school.  Wish I could have the kind of confidence I had back then…since I know I now look *so* much better.  Ironic, isn’t it?

Do you take progress pictures?  If so, how often do you take them?

-Erica

Loving Whole Foods

I have recently fallen head over heels in L-O-V-E with Whole Foods.  I mean, I had been in there a time or two before, but not with the same drive.  My cousin, Maggie, and I went in there a couple weeks ago looking for a product not sold in other stores, which left us wandering a little.  On top of the wandering, I had read in a few books that purchasing things like nuts are often far cheaper at places like Whole Foods (in their bulk aisle).  So, I decided to check it out.  Oh. My. Goodness.  If they would set up a cot for me, I would live in the bulk food aisle.  Really.  Nuts *are* far cheaper if you purchase them this way…by about *half*…no joke.

Then there is the granola.  Granola…yum!  I have yogurt almost every day.  I typically put a small amount of granola and some walnuts (or pecans…or almonds) on top.  In case you do not already know, though, organic granola at Kroger or Bigg’s is ridiculously expensive!  It runs about $6.00 to $7.00 per pound!  At Whole Foods (in the bulk aisle, of course) granola is $3.99 per pound.  That is *so* much cheaper…and the flavors of granola are amazing!  My favorite is the Vanilla Macaroon.  It is heavenly.

I also switched to buying my eggs from Whole Foods…and my yogurt.  I usually purchase Dannon Light & Fit for $2.99 (32 oz.).  Whole Foods carries an organic vanilla yogurt made with milk from cows without hormones for $2.49 (32 oz.).  Better deal!  I will admit; however, that the eggs are slightly more expensive at Whole Foods.  One dozen eggs runs about $1.60 at WF and about $1.40 at Kroger.  However, the WF eggs are free range, antibiotic-free (which makes me happy to pay the little bit extra).

Another thing I love about WF…they have samples over by the bakery area…and man are they good!  I usually pass right by the sample kiosks at other grocery stores because it is all ucky processed junk.  I feel better about trying the foods at WF because I know they have higher standards about what they will sell/serve.

Ultimately, the purpose of this post is to debunk the whole “Whole Foods (and places like it) is always more expensive than Kroger/Bigg’s (and places like them).”  That is not necessarily true.  Yes, some things are  more expensive, but not everything.  I would say it is definitely worth it to take a stroll through WF and see what you can find to save your family some money.  I bet you will love the bulk aisle, too!

Do you currently shop at Whole Foods (or another store like it)?  If so, are there things you have found to be cheaper there versus a Kroger/Bigg’s/etc?

-Erica

PS) As I was re-reading my post before publishing it occurred to me that you all might think WF is paying/bribing me to say such nice things about them.  I assure you I have been in no way compensated for this post…although they could give me five minutes alone with the bulk food aisle and I would be one happy girl.  🙂

Another Anatomy Lesson?

I have learned quite a bit of anatomy over the last 18 months.  Some I am learning from reading through my texts in preparation for my personal training certification.  That is the stuff I enjoy learning.

However, other stuff (like this lesson in particular) is coming from various injuries.  Yes, another injury for me.  Sigh.

Last March I learned all about the tendons in the dorsal aspect of the foot.  I damaged the achilles, the peroneals, and the plantar fascia in one fell swoop.  Earlier this year I learned about the rotator cuff in my left shoulder and all about patellofemoral arthritis syndrome (which later resulted in a diagnosis of osteoarthritis).  Now I am learning about the tibialis posterior.

I woke up yesterday morning to find that my foot/ankle was really sore to just the slightest touch.  It was fine when I went to bed Sunday night, I should mention.  I could barely put my shoes on (in fact, I ended up wearing different shoes because my normal shoes hurt too bad).  I went to Urgent Care and found that the whole inside of my foot (and all the way down into the arch) was severly swollen.  Ugh.

They just did x-rays and informed me it was not broken.  I pretty much knew I probably did not break my foot in my sleep, though.  Seriously.  So, I paid a visit to my physical therapist.  Guess what, exactly where my pain and swelling is runs a tendon.  The tibialis posterior.

The two of us were talking and I happened to mention running on the treadmill Saturday.  The more we were talking about it, the more certain she became that that is how I aggravated the tendon.  See, I am not sure I have mentioned it here before, but I am *deathly* afraid of the treadmill.  I. HATE. IT.  So, Saturday when I was on the treadmill…running…I was panicky.  Actually, at one point I almost had to stop running simply because I was crying so hard I could not breathe.  I know.  Crazy.  How Denise deals with me, I will never know.

So, my PT says it was not so much the act of running itself that aggravated the tendon.  It was more so that I was running so tense and (most likely) awkwardly.  As nervous as I was, there is a good chance my gait was off.  Running like that could easily make a tendon (or two) angry and inflammed.  That is precisely what happened.

That means lots of ice, elevation, and rest for this foot.  No running of any kind until it has calmed down, and probably no running on the treadmill for a *very long* time.

On another note, though, I just *have* to share this with you all:

198.6

Yup, all of that “extra” weight is already gone.  This is my lowest weight to date, too.  So, maybe it was water…or something else.  Considering that means I have dropped 5.8 pounds in 3 days, I am willing to bet it was not truly fat.  Thank goodness for small miracles.

Oh, one more thing…while you are here, you should enter the giveaway I posted on Sunday.

How is your week starting out?  Are you feeling optimistic about the week?

-Erica