Thirty weeks. Seven months (only 5 days shy). What a journey this has been so far. I have come so far already…and, yet, I feel like I have so much further to go. Although, as fast as these 30 weeks have gone, I have no doubt the next 30 will fly by in seemingly no time at all. I am very excited to see what milestones and accomplishments I will have to speak of by that point.
I would like to say I am bubbling over with happiness and excitement today, but I am not. Actually, I am feeling a blue this evening. I had a great workout with Denise today, and I did some new things with her (which challenged me in new ways). I did my first “real” pushup today (not the girlie ones on my knees)…it was *not* pretty, but I did it…and then many more after it. I did burpees, actually, which require pushups as part of the move. I also jumped rope…okay, more like skipped rope, but I did it. Again, it was not pretty, and I still need *so* much more practice to be “successful.”
Despite that, my weigh in this morning has me a little bent out of shape. The scale was all over the place this morning. Okay, so something strange…I weigh myself (a minimum of) three times every time I do it. Why? Well, because depending on where you stand on the scale, you get different readings…or at least I usually do. So, what I do is step on the scale and then again, and then again. If the number matches all three times, that is my weight. If the number does not match, I weigh myself until I get three identical readings. Usually, the numbers are so close (like within 0.4 pounds)…not this morning. I had weights from as little 235.X all the way up to 239.0. I was so frustrated and wanted desperately to curse the stupid thing out. Instead, I took a deep breath and keep stepping on. Eventually, I got my three identical readings…
That is *one* pound down from last week. O-N-E. That is two weeks in a row that I have only dropped *one* pound. I am beginning to feel frustrated with that. I know I probably should not get that caught up in the numbers, but I do. The numbers, after all, is what is primarily driving me these days because I still have that ridiculous *disconnect* clouding my perception of progress when I look at myself. If I could *see* the changes as clearly as everyone else, maybe I would not be so hung up on the numbers. Maybe. It is still a loss, though, so I guess I cannot dwell on it too terribly long. Sigh.
Denise measured me today at the gym. Here is how it went:
Neck = 14″ / 14″
Shoulders = 54″ / 45.2″
Arms = 19″ (L) and 19″ (R) / 16.5″ (L) and 16.5″ (R)
Bust = 54.5″ / 48.2″
Waist = 48″ (N) and 52″ (B) / 35.5″ (N) and 40″ (B)
Hips = 58.75″ / 51″
Thighs = 37″ (L) and 37.5″ (R) / 27.7″ (L) and 28″ (R)
Calves = 20.5 (L) and 21″ (R) / 17.2″ (L) and 18.2″ (R)
original measurement / current measurement
That is a total of 77.25 inches and 76.8 pounds lost in 30 weeks. That is not too shabby, right? So, what is up with me not feeling happy about that?! Maybe I am in some sort of emotional funk today…who knows.
Here is another thing…
My BMI when I began (at 315 lbs.) was 49.33.
Today my BMI was 37.3.
I am thinking that I need to switch up something on the food front. I have no idea what I am going to do exactly because I do not have a “quick fix” in that arena. (Meaning, I do not drink soda – even diet. I do not eat sweets – ever. I do not drink alcohol. I do not eat chips or anything “snacky” like that.) So, I apparently have some research ahead of me to try and figure out how I can shake things up in my diet to see if I can get the scale moving again. Any thoughts or ideas on that?
(I think it’s safe to call this one unattainable at this point.)