My {former} Favorite Cords

So, over the last few days I have really been struggling with the changes my body is going through.  Apparently, I am not alone.  Of course, everyone struggles with different aspects of change, and everyone handles these struggles differently.

I regret not having pictures of myself when I began my journey 50+ pounds ago.  However, I am making a promise to myself that I will begin taking pictures from here on out (if nothing else, for comparison purposes…and to avoid this strange “disconnect” I am experiencing now).

Years ago I purchased a really fabulous (and huge) pair of brown corduroy pants.  They were wide legged and comfy.  When I first bought them they fit perfectly.  Over the years; however, I “grew” out of them.  I could usually still get them up, but to button them was a challenging task.

These pants were in my “must get rid of” pile in my dining room right now.  I have already “purged” two sets of clothes before this group.  That is one thing I promised myself early in the game: I would *not* hold on to my “fat” clothes “just in case” because this time there would be *NO* turning back/giving up.  No way.

So, today I decided to take pictures of myself in these former favorite pants:

Yes, that is *two* arms in those pants with me. Without the crotch, the waist in these pants *might* just fit over my shoulders!

As if that was not crazy enough for me:

I would say they are substantially bigger than me now, which is why they were to be given/thrown away.

I also feel compelled to mention that these were *not* my largest pair of pants. These are a size 24. I already purged all my 26 and 28 pants. So, I cannot even imagine what *those* would look like on me now! I might actually hang on to these cords now. Not “just in case,” but for these purposes. As I lose more weight, I might enjoy seeing both of my legs fit into one pant leg of these (which is not all that far away – I tried today).

This is certainly undeniable proof of progress. Maybe if I stare at these pictures long enough it will sink in. 🙂


4 responses to “My {former} Favorite Cords

  1. totally understand. I can’t see it until I look back and compare. I know people don’t understand that, but if I saw myself as big as I was I could not have gone outside. Love the photos! 😀 Thanks for the shout out.

    • Strange thing for me is that I actually feel *more* fat now that I have lost weight than when I did at 315. I *think* it is because my body image is always in the forefront of my mind now (since I am actively working on it). When I was at my heaviest, I just did not think about my body…I was usually too busy thinking about food, or eating it. LOL


  2. It is interesting to read of the disconnect you have with your body – would never have thought that you would have to get used to a thinner you. Yhank you for sharing – and congratulations on needing to get rid of your favourite pants.

    • To be honest, I never thought I would experience this either. I just figured I would be happy, happy, happy. Not that I am not happy, but some days it is a struggle to *feel* successful when I still *feel* so fat. Logically speaking, I know the changes are happening, but that logic (and all the proof) does not seem to help the way I *feel* about it. It’s honestly quite strange – even for me.


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